The Books of Monty Dogge

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Monty Elf – Christmas 2020

It was cwissymouse eve at the Wigwam dog’s home

I sat in the dark scared sad and alone

When the door opened slowly with a loud eerie creak

Though I was shaking with fear I just had to peek

 

I peered through the dark my eyes struggling to see

When I saw a strange figure – but he hadn’t seen me?

Black boots red trousers and a beard of white

I was hardly believing this wonderous sight

 

He crept to the fireplace and lay down his huge sack

And went over to the table with the milk and a snack

I must have been leaning against my closed crate door

Because suddenly it opened and I slid across the floor

 

The figure turned for a second then returned to his supper

I crept closer to his sack I was an inquisitive pupster

I hoped there were treats he was bringing for me

But the inside was too dark and I just couldn’t see

 

I peered into the bag there was something inside

I couldn’t reach it from here though I tried and I tried

I crawled further inside and I stretched out my paw

My prize there for the taking any second for sure

 

Suddenly all went black and I started to spin

And I got very scared about what trouble I was in

It was like I was flying though I couldn’t be sure

Then with a thud and a thump everything hit the floor

 

It was quiet once more then a small light appeared

So I crawled from the sack but something was weird

This place looked quite different from the dogs home for sure

And it soon became clear I wasn’t there anymore

 

I heard voices behind me and not ones that I knew

I felt scared and confused and not sure what to do

As we all looked at each other the talking just stopped

It was hard to work out who seemed the most shocked.

 

I was in strange surroundings but in an instant, I knew

The voices were Santa’s and his spangle Elf crew

I had seen them in books that the mini hoomans all read

So although this was strange it didn’t fill me with dread

 

They all gathered round me as things became clear

And they worked out the story of how I’d got here

While the big guy was eating, I’d sneaked into his sack

It was his last cwissymouse call and then he headed straight back

 

Now it needed a decision what my future should be

Take me back to that place or maybe keep me

Santa said I could stay if a family stepped up

But who would raise as their own this big fluffy pup?

 

A spangle elf spoke and then came through the crowd

She would be happy to take me if she was allowed

Molly hadn’t had pups and would relish this role

And so it was decided. I’d stay at the North Pole

 

 This story needs trimming so I’ll cut to the chase

As I grew to my full size I looked out of place

I couldn’t fit in the beds and had to squeeze through the doors

As a toy maker I was useless with my hooge hairy paws

 

The Elf spangles did try to make me feel right at home

But the longer time went on I felt more and more alone

I then heard two whisper ‘Molly has to tell him the truth’

‘He’s not an Elf Spangle he’s just a big newfydoof’

 

I was sad and upset I had known something was wrong

Molly said we need to sit down and talk, it wouldn’t take long

She told me the story of my Newfydoof past

Then it all became clear – I understood it at last

 

I’d been loved by my real dad but things had been tough

He’d lost his job and his home and ended up sleeping rough

She explained this had happened to lots of good folk

There was a massive recession and everybody was broke

 

He didn’t want me to suffer so the dogs home helped out

But my dad must still love me Molly said she’d no doubt

He was back on his feet now and had his home in Wigwam

He must be so worried....he doesn’t know where I am

 

I decided that minute I must leave the North Pole

Now finding me dad was my ultimate goal

The Elf spangles and Santa gathered to wish me well

When Molly said goodbye she was upset I could tell

 

 But I said I’ll return maybe bring back my dad

That made her seem happier and not look so sad

I set off straight away there was no time to lose

I was excited to find him and tell him my news

 

When I reached Wigwam town it was busy and loud

Even with all this activity I stood out in the crowd

Was it my dashing good looks or maybe my size?

Or was it my Elf suit that had caused the surprise?

 

Never mind when I greeted them, surely, they would be pleased

But instead, they viewed me with a nervous unease

Maybe they just all needed some Elf cwissymouse cheer

So I barked nice and loud to make sure all could hear

 

The next thing I knew I was wrapped up in a net

I hadn’t even started giving Elf hugs out yet

I was back at the dogs home, things had started out bad

But I knew things would work out when I spoke to me dad

 

I told the dog warden and he promised he’d call

But three days had passed and I heard nothing at all

Dad would sort all this out I had simply no doubt

But I needed to see him…I needed to get out

 

The other doglets trapped here said that the hoomans were sad

A nasty virus had come and made lots of them bad

No hugs were allowed and people banned from the parks

And there was even an order to silence dog’s barks

 

 Without us pups singing there’d be no cwissymouse cheer

I needed to find a quick way out of here

That evening when the warden had left for the day

I looked for an escape plan and thought of a way

 

A window was open but it was really high up

We needed a way to lift up a small pup

I stood at the bottom and one jumped up on me

Then we built a dog ladder to set the little one free

 

Once out of the kennel he opened the gate

I was off in an instant there was no time to wait

It was cwissymouse eve and Santa was on his way

But it was festive good cheer that helped him fly his sleigh

 

I told all of the doglets of the plan that I had

They spread out round the town while I went to find dad

Before I left home Molly passed me a note

Where me dads new address had been carefully wrote

 

Meanwhile Santa had crashed and his sleigh was all bent

Cwissymouse cheer had dropped down to below 10 per cent

If people saw him stuck there all the magic would die

He needed a miracle quickly to help the sleigh fly

 

I had found where dad lived as snow started to fall

I looked up at his window and gave him a call

My barking rang out in the cold winters air

And I was joined by more singing of dogs everywhere

 

 Dad came to the door and looked angry at first

I admit that deep down I was fearing the worst

I heard him speak loudly I think to himself

What’s this in me garden? – That’s a bloomin big elf

 

But all of a sudden I saw a look in his eyes

It was like he had instantly seen though me disguise

Then through the falling snow flakes he looked directly at me

And with a quivering voice he softly said ‘is that you Monty?’

 

I ran to me dad and gave him some slobbery proof

That I was back, it was me, I was his newfydoof

We cuddled he cried and I barked out my song

We needed more cheer and we didn’t have long

 

The woofing of doglets brought the hoomans outside

We needed to let them know cwissymouse cheer had died

Nothing more needed saying because all of us knew

With a wag of our tails, we did what we were born to do

 

Hoomans began smiling there was just no resistance

And they virtually hugged keeping their social distance

Santa’s gauge was now rising and so was his sleigh

We brought joy to the hoomans and had rescued the day

 

All dogs were adopted and found homes for forever

And Santa sent me a thank you for being so clever

I’d found my dad once again and that was my biggest goal

But I couldn’t forget Molly and those at the north pole

 

 I went back there often and dad came with me too

And we’d talk of that day when the Elf saying came true

It really is the best way to spread Cwissymouse cheer

 Us doglets barking out loud for everybody to hear

 

So, don’t ever let cwissymouse cheer disappear

Or you may end up with me barking my song down your ear

Stopping doglets from singing is how sadness begins

And you don’t want to be a Cotton Headed ninny muggins…..