Our story this year is a tale of woe

Well also betrayal, but mainly of snow

It begins all quite normal on a calm Christmas eve

But when I tell you this saga, I’m not sure you’ll believe

 

The mini hoomans had settled for their annual treat

To watch festive films and have goodies to eat

But when the movie began it took me back to a time

A few years ago, and to the scene of the crime

 

It was just before Christmas and snow fell in the night

It was deep crisp and even by the time it was light

The mini hoomans were excited by the wintry scene

And the schools had stayed closed it was a little one’s dream

 

There were snowballs to throw and sledges to ride

No chance for a moment that they’d be kept inside

Little pipsqueak and  her dad built a man made of snow

For hours and hours, they helped him to grow

He had a hat from the wardrobe and a scarf from the rack

And a hooge orange nose with buttons of black

When they had finished, he stood as tall as a man

And looked about as hooman as a snow figure can

 

As night time descended mum called everyone in

While the snowman stood guard with his pebble dashed grin

We all settled down for our long evening nap

With no second thought given to this ice composed chap.

 

When morning arrived the snow still lay glistening

Then I heard mum say to the spangles…’I hope you are listening,

I won’t have this behaviour just look at the floor’

Then she went for the mop, slamming the door..

 

The three all looked sheepish but they were clear on one fact

The puddles in the kitchen were no spangle act

So what was this mystery that had caused mum to shout?

If it wasn’t us doglets I would need to find out

 

It happened overnight we knew that much was clear

How would I find out? Then I had an idea

I would pretend to be sleeping but I’d have one open eye

I quite liked this new job role….Monty the spy

 

Evening came and as usual everyone went to bed

And all sort of thoughts swirled round in my head

What would I see on my night-long stake out?

And would my detective work manage to remove any doubt

 

 Staying awake proved a task for this surveillance newf

Though I had good intentions to find out the truth

By midnight my eyes drooped and I started to snore

When suddenly I woke, there was a noise at the door.

 

I sprang into action. Ok I slowly sat up

My role was now Monty Dogge chief guarding pup

This intruder would regret coming into my house

I crept quietly forward like a 13 stone mouse

 

The sight that confronted me made me doubt my own eyes

As I went around the corner it was the biggest surprise

For every possibility I’d worked out a plan

Except that is for meeting a giant snowman

 

He looked shocked as well to be seeing me there

Then he said very nervously ‘Are you a bear?’

I reassured him I wasn’t but why was he here?

We spoke for a while then it all became clear

 

He explained he got lonely in the garden all night

So, he liked to explore until it began to get light

He’d been into the house not just one time but twice

Cos he’d found that the freezer was packed full of ice

 

He explained that for snowmen ice was a favourite snack

And that was the reason that he liked coming back

Well, we became friends and he came back each day

While everyone slept, we would talk, eat and play

 

 I told him my dream to write a great story

That would become a bestseller bringing me fame and glory

I just needed an idea that was clever and funny

Then I’m sure I’d be famous and earn lots of money

 

Don’t get me wrong it’s not that I’m greedy

Us dogs love to give and I’d help out the needy

I’d spread love and happiness to those with the least

For the homeless and lonely I would put on a feast

 

The next evening as usual Snowman came round to play

But mum had been grooming us doglets all day

The room was a mess ‘Out of bounds’ was the warning

Until she had time to clean up in the morning

 

Before I could say ice boy opened the door

And was waltzing around on the grooming room floor

This was going to mean trouble, there was fur everywhere

But he just starting singing ‘I’m walking on the hair’

 

Suddenly in an instant my whole story was clear

I’d just had the most fantastic original idea

I must write it down there was no time to waste

And in an hour I had finished, such was my haste

 

At first light the snowman returned to his post

But now evenings were the time I looked forward to most

That night though I waited my friend never came

And though I tried to keep busy it just wasn’t the same

 

 

Next morning I looked but the snowman had gone

I thought it was my fault, had I done something wrong?

I searched every day maybe I’d never know

He couldn’t have melted there was still lots of snow

 

I thought in the end I’d go back to my writing

Because in over a week there had not been one sighting

It would help take my mind off the loss of my friend

And it was close to be finished I just needed an end

 

As I flicked through the pages though, it didn’t take long

To see that there was a problem, something was wrong

The book was all soggy and the words had all ran

To rescue my masterpiece, I needed a plan

 

The heater was on so I placed it close by

It didn’t take long for my pages to dry

I had no idea what had caused such a thing

Or the shock and the horror the truth was to bring

 

Though I sent out my story it just got rejected

Letter after letter in the end I was dejected

I couldn’t understand I thought it was a hit for sure

But the ‘no thank you’ letters were a stream through the door

 

Well it seemed like my writing career had failed

Just when I thought I had this author thing nailed

I forgot all about it and the months just flew past

And before very long we were close to Christmas

 

 The family all gathered for their festive movie

It was a new one this year, what will it be?

When it started I couldn’t believe what I saw

My story was the premier on Channel 4

 

When I saw who the star was the whole thing became clear

And I can tell you I didn’t feel much Christmas cheer

My snowman friend robbed me and sold my idea

And it would come back to haunt me year after year

 

A high pitched young hooman was now singing my song

While the snow thief and accomplice flew gently along

In the end when he melted It was special effects

Cos he retired to Greenland on the royalty cheques

 

Though I was angry it hasn’t spoilt Christmas for me

But I do try and keep away from the festive TV

And despite my experience I still love the snow

I just don’t trust anyone made from frozen H2O