Hobbies for dogs during lockdown

I keep hearing all of these amazing new hobbies that you hoomans have started during this time of being kennelled for so long. I’ve heard about Susan from Hereford who has spent her time learning to crochet and is just putting the finishing touches to a life-size World War 2 Sherman tank. Then there’s Roger from Burton upon Trent who has been baking banana bread using just an empty tin of beans and a bic lighter.

Well me licckle homo sapiens I can tell you that I have also taken up a couple of new hobbies cos I’ve been a bit bored. Usually I would be going into the learning zoo’s to entertain the mini hoomans but as you know they can’t go in and you hoomans are having to do the home teaching stuff yourselves…..how’s that working for you?

Anyways both of me new hobbies involve water and though I don’t really like swimming in the stuff or going out when it’s falling from the sky I do love to drink it. I like to play with dad cos he’s always wanting summat to do and I feel I should help keep him busy or else he’d just be sitting down and that must be tedious.

The hoomans place towels by the water bowls and as soon as we are drinking they come rushing over before we get a chance to share the slobbery residoo that we take with us after the drink. If there is nobody around I like to wipe my own face….on dads desk. There are always lots of bits of paper that soak the newfygoo up really well, and you can even gets lots off on those knobbly bits on the TV remote fingy bobby.

Dad always squeals with excitement when I do this cos he has all the fun wiping it off. He follows me and I can hear him saying stuff which means how much fun he’s having….I think, but they’re not words I’ve really heard before.

When he is prepared for me having a drink it goes like this…. He stands behind me while I’m slurping - towel in hand, like a waiter who’s seeing if I like the wine. I can see him, I know where he is. He tries to guess which way I’ll turn and sometimes he’s really sneaky and pretends to go one way and when I go the other he nips round and dabs me jowls.

You know what though? I’ve been watching that 'Last Dance’ with dad and I’ve picked up a few moves from MJ. So when he’s waiting behind I feint to go right, feint to go left and then quickly go right again and…..got him. Now he’s behind me and desperately trying to get to the front end before I do the slobbershake and coat the walls and TV . If only I had summat to block him off….Well that’s where a hooge hairy newfydoof backside comes in really handy and try as he might he can’t get past me as long as I keep changing directions.

So who needs knitting or baking when you can have some much fun just winding up your hoomans. Play along doglet sisters and bruvvers….it’s pawsome.