Bailey and his new disappearing dog food diet

I know I’ve told you hoomans many times what a crazy house I live in and I’m sure some of fink I’m doing the heggsagerating stuffs but I tell you if they ever made a movie it’s gonna be called ‘One flew over the Cookie nest’ it’s that nutty here.

Well you unbelievers here’s what happened the uvver day and you make up your own mind. The hoomans weigh our food every day. This is so we don’t put weight on, but I fink they are hippo crates cos they don’t weigh their own out. Maybe the scales are too small or maybe they are a licckle bit scared of those alarms going off and the big red flashing lights…..’WARNING WARNING LARDYARSE ALERT’ …….And if dad was measuring out the falling over water well, all I can say is that there would be distilleries in scotty land doing the furlow fing like yesterday.

So yesterday dad and poobag, or hooman slaves as they’re sometimes called, were up bright and early getting our breakfast ready. As usual dad was doing ours and poobag preparing the spangles gourmet meal. As you know we have a few extra diet issues going on at the moment wiv the heffalump and Old Molly so they was rushing round like headless turkeys getting everything done.

Once brekkie is served me and the hairy hippo have our nap while the dangly eared ones go out for their early walk. So all was going to plan so far wiv Poppy and Bailey gulping their food down quicker than dad moves when he spots a pound coin on the floor…..Bailey always cries, whines and squeals and this morning was no different so I was glad when they went out and I get on wiv serious snoozing.

He seemed especially excited this morning cos he was still squeakyspangling when he got back and didn’t settle as quickly as usual. It was only when poobag was collecting the bowls up and taking them back into the kitchen that she spotted the scales….still full of food. She weighed it and it confirmed that it was Bailey’s….sqewz me while I have a licckle chuckle I love this bit…..

Poobag had soaked and dished up Molly’s food. She then weighed Poppy’s put it into the bowl and then weighed Bailey’s. It was here where fings got hilaryarse cos she grabbed the three bowls and took them in. Molly’s full…Poppy’s full…Bailey’s empty and took them into them. They eat separately cos Bailey is so greedy so just imagine this….(sorry larffing again) Molly bowl down, starts eating…..

Poppy bowl down, starts eating….Bailey bowl down….head in, nothing.

Checks all around, nothing. Back to the bowl, nothing.

I can just imagine that licckle WTF (where’s the food?) face as he realises summat is missing. Well Bailey ain’t the brightest but I’m sure even he realised this food was different from his usual brand……

The story has a happy ending cos he got his breakfast an hour late and it kept us giggling all day….good boy Bailey…..